SOLUTION:CONNECT WITH OTHERS
From WEBMD.com
How important are social networks to your happiness? Perhaps even more important than you realized. A recent 20-year study of more than 4,000 people showed that happiness is influenced not just by your immediate friends and family. The happiness of a friend of a friend of a friend -- someone you’ve never even met -- can also influence your happiness. It turns out that happiness can spread through social networks, like a virus.
Unfortunately, many people spend so much time by themselves navel gazing, they don’t benefit from this positive “contagion.”
The more self-absorbed you are, the more your world closes in, and the less realistic you become, all of which produces a vicious circle. “You become oblivious to the needs of others, and the world shrinks still more, making you less able to see outside yourself.” If asked, ‘Why are your problems so special?” says Jinpa, you might respond, “Because they’re mine!”
“If you have such a huge ego, you’re setting yourself up as a huge target, which can easily get hit,” Jinpa says. But using a “wide-angle lens” instead helps you see connections you wouldn’t otherwise see, such as the universality of suffering. All it may take is having a loved one diagnosed with a serious disease to realize how many people are grappling with similar challenges. Feeling joined by others on this journey provides some comfort and happiness.
The straightest path to making connections like these? Compassion and caring for others.
Even primates seem to understand this, says Robert M. Sapolsky, PhD, author of Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers and research associate with the Institute of Primate Research at the National Museum of Kenya. Primates that groom each other after a stressful event experience a reduction in blood pressure. The clincher? Grooming others has a greater impact than getting groomed, says Sapolsky.
Compassion engages us with others, removes isolation, builds resilience, and leads to deep fulfillment, says Doty. “Without compassion, happiness is simply short-lived pleasure.”
Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, may have said it best: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
HELLO GOD, I HAVE A PROBLEM........
RECOVERY
I have a friend that gets down on himself and is easily thrown into the self-disgust attitude, because he is not doing recovery 'right.'
Recovery is only recovery, a part of life, and can be kept in perspective. Its not easy but it can be done. My recovery is up and down as with anything in life. Mostly its moderate, no terrific highs, but alternatively not much of the lows.
But what defeats me, what is my demon, my enemy, my disaster always, sooner or later, is my..........computer.
I got my first computer in 1995, and it has been a love/hate romance ever since. I really love this personal friend, helpmate,tedious task doer and efficiency expert.
But sometimes, sometimes I hate this machine, this devil, the scourge of my life, this destroyer of my inner peace, slaughtering my equilibrium and my happiness. Partly it is because the mechanics of learning and trying to keep up-to-date on all the computer gizmos and gadgets, shows me in stark detail how incompetent I feel when dealing with this wonderful product of miniturization.
My son, while trying to teach me the basics of computing, always said, 'The computer only does what you tell it to do,' but I guess I often tell it the wrong things to do, because thats exactly what it does. The wrong things. And I spend hours trying to figure it out. Simply because I am usually too stubborn to ask for help. Since tech support has gone mostly out the window, I have to rely on family and friends. What a quick way to ruin a nice, friendly relationship.
I was just trying to put some of my INTENTIONS on itunes, so anyone can access them. But NO!! I followed the directions, many times, over and over, but no change in the status. I kept getting a stupid error message.
And thats the way life is, I feel. A serious challenge rears its ugly head and we are stuck.We try and try, to do everything ourselves and not 'bother' anyone with our problems. Then finally we get to the bottom of 'our' barrel and begin calling friends, neighbors, family, until they are thinking about disowning us. They see our phone number on the caller ID and quickly walk away.
Times like this when we seem to be clueless, and are floundering, is the time to call tech support:
'Hello, God, sorry to bother you, but I have this problem.......
Works everytime.
I have a friend that gets down on himself and is easily thrown into the self-disgust attitude, because he is not doing recovery 'right.'
Recovery is only recovery, a part of life, and can be kept in perspective. Its not easy but it can be done. My recovery is up and down as with anything in life. Mostly its moderate, no terrific highs, but alternatively not much of the lows.
But what defeats me, what is my demon, my enemy, my disaster always, sooner or later, is my..........computer.
I got my first computer in 1995, and it has been a love/hate romance ever since. I really love this personal friend, helpmate,tedious task doer and efficiency expert.
But sometimes, sometimes I hate this machine, this devil, the scourge of my life, this destroyer of my inner peace, slaughtering my equilibrium and my happiness. Partly it is because the mechanics of learning and trying to keep up-to-date on all the computer gizmos and gadgets, shows me in stark detail how incompetent I feel when dealing with this wonderful product of miniturization.
My son, while trying to teach me the basics of computing, always said, 'The computer only does what you tell it to do,' but I guess I often tell it the wrong things to do, because thats exactly what it does. The wrong things. And I spend hours trying to figure it out. Simply because I am usually too stubborn to ask for help. Since tech support has gone mostly out the window, I have to rely on family and friends. What a quick way to ruin a nice, friendly relationship.
I was just trying to put some of my INTENTIONS on itunes, so anyone can access them. But NO!! I followed the directions, many times, over and over, but no change in the status. I kept getting a stupid error message.
And thats the way life is, I feel. A serious challenge rears its ugly head and we are stuck.We try and try, to do everything ourselves and not 'bother' anyone with our problems. Then finally we get to the bottom of 'our' barrel and begin calling friends, neighbors, family, until they are thinking about disowning us. They see our phone number on the caller ID and quickly walk away.
Times like this when we seem to be clueless, and are floundering, is the time to call tech support:
'Hello, God, sorry to bother you, but I have this problem.......
Works everytime.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
THE PATH
Feb 22, 09
With a really white wonderland visible on all sides, it became apparent as soon as we tried to walk to our car that an immediate fix was needed. We have 4-5 ft of snow in our yard and driveway and more than that on our decks. The snow that has fallen off the roof and onto the deck, has piled up so high we can only see snow and the tops of the trees when we look out our windows.
When we went to a doctors appt a few days ago, we had to walk on top of the snow, because our path was nowhere to be found. The snow was fresh and very soft and powdery, and we would sink almost to our hips with each step. Since our driveway is about 100 feet long and steep, the journey was not a walk in the park. Then when we got home we had to walk up the driveway to get in the house.
Yesterday David grabbed the shovel and said, I'm going to fix this problem. So with due diligence, he began shoveling snow. Snow was flying.
Today, he is again shoveling for all he is worth to clear a safe path to the car.He would call out to me periodically to check his path. He wanted to make sure he was still going in the right direction.
We all have our own path to travel in this life, whether it is a short path or a lifelong path. We all need to make sure we are still on the path and haven't wandered into the deep snow, where you may get stuck. Call out for direction. Call out to someone in charge, someone that knows more than you , someone that can see the whole picture.
Call out to God. He knows the whole story and has a direction for you.
'Never will I leave you.
Never will I forsake you.'
....Hebrews 13:5
Many Years ago, David played keyboards with The Ides Of March. Ides was Jim Peteriks band. Then Jim went on to later, start the band, Survivor. David wasn't with that band,
But he DID play some of the keyboards on Survivors 'Burning Heart'.
With a really white wonderland visible on all sides, it became apparent as soon as we tried to walk to our car that an immediate fix was needed. We have 4-5 ft of snow in our yard and driveway and more than that on our decks. The snow that has fallen off the roof and onto the deck, has piled up so high we can only see snow and the tops of the trees when we look out our windows.
When we went to a doctors appt a few days ago, we had to walk on top of the snow, because our path was nowhere to be found. The snow was fresh and very soft and powdery, and we would sink almost to our hips with each step. Since our driveway is about 100 feet long and steep, the journey was not a walk in the park. Then when we got home we had to walk up the driveway to get in the house.
Yesterday David grabbed the shovel and said, I'm going to fix this problem. So with due diligence, he began shoveling snow. Snow was flying.
Today, he is again shoveling for all he is worth to clear a safe path to the car.He would call out to me periodically to check his path. He wanted to make sure he was still going in the right direction.
We all have our own path to travel in this life, whether it is a short path or a lifelong path. We all need to make sure we are still on the path and haven't wandered into the deep snow, where you may get stuck. Call out for direction. Call out to someone in charge, someone that knows more than you , someone that can see the whole picture.
Call out to God. He knows the whole story and has a direction for you.
'Never will I leave you.
Never will I forsake you.'
....Hebrews 13:5
Many Years ago, David played keyboards with The Ides Of March. Ides was Jim Peteriks band. Then Jim went on to later, start the band, Survivor. David wasn't with that band,
But he DID play some of the keyboards on Survivors 'Burning Heart'.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
THE BUTTERFLIES SONG
One of the most beautiful sights in the world is a butterfly, flitting from flower to bush and back to the flowers. Legend mixed with myth has made this little insect a powerful visual influence.
The sheer beauty of a whole flock of butterflies is prominent in the Butterfly Children Legend of the Papago Indian tribe of the Sonoran desert of Arizona and Mexico.According to this myth, the Creator felt sorry for the children of the tribe, when He realized that their destiny was to grow old, and become wrinkled, fat, blind, weak, sick.So He gathered beautiful colors from various sources – the sky, sunlight, leaves, and all the flowers of the world.He put these colors into a magical bag and gave the bag to the children of the tribe. When the children opened the bag, brilliantly multi-colored butterflies flew out and circled around the childrens heads, singing their lovely songs. The children were enchanted, as they had never seen anything so beautiful. The singing of the butterflies was lovely and that further delighted the children.
But the songbirds complained to the Creator because they were jealous. So the Creator withdrew the songs from the butterflies. Now they are beautiful but silent.
The butterfly with its different stages reminds me of my stages of growth – first the egg - knowing nothing, seeing nothing, then the caterpillar, spending its life eating everything in sight. Next, the chrysalis, just hangin out. Then when the time is right, metamorphosis into a spectacular being of brilliant colors and form. My metamorphosis at this time in my life, is into a colorful, healthy, Loving servant of God in human form.
You can focus on images of the butterflies in a meditation or quiet time, and imagine the brilliant colors are healing and calming to you. Picture the butterflies flying around your head and sending you colors of pure Love. Breath in this Love and send all the colors moving through your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Then exhale this multi-colored Love, sending it around the world to heal and to relax and calm all of the distressed people in the world. They need your Love.
To learn more about our beautiful friends:
http://butterflywebsite.com/
The sheer beauty of a whole flock of butterflies is prominent in the Butterfly Children Legend of the Papago Indian tribe of the Sonoran desert of Arizona and Mexico.According to this myth, the Creator felt sorry for the children of the tribe, when He realized that their destiny was to grow old, and become wrinkled, fat, blind, weak, sick.So He gathered beautiful colors from various sources – the sky, sunlight, leaves, and all the flowers of the world.He put these colors into a magical bag and gave the bag to the children of the tribe. When the children opened the bag, brilliantly multi-colored butterflies flew out and circled around the childrens heads, singing their lovely songs. The children were enchanted, as they had never seen anything so beautiful. The singing of the butterflies was lovely and that further delighted the children.
But the songbirds complained to the Creator because they were jealous. So the Creator withdrew the songs from the butterflies. Now they are beautiful but silent.
The butterfly with its different stages reminds me of my stages of growth – first the egg - knowing nothing, seeing nothing, then the caterpillar, spending its life eating everything in sight. Next, the chrysalis, just hangin out. Then when the time is right, metamorphosis into a spectacular being of brilliant colors and form. My metamorphosis at this time in my life, is into a colorful, healthy, Loving servant of God in human form.
You can focus on images of the butterflies in a meditation or quiet time, and imagine the brilliant colors are healing and calming to you. Picture the butterflies flying around your head and sending you colors of pure Love. Breath in this Love and send all the colors moving through your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Then exhale this multi-colored Love, sending it around the world to heal and to relax and calm all of the distressed people in the world. They need your Love.
To learn more about our beautiful friends:
http://butterflywebsite.com/
Thursday, February 5, 2009
FEELING ANXIOUS?
I've noticed lately that I am more often anxious, short tempered, easily agitated, dejected and have trouble staying positive and upbeat. I am quick to put myself down, rag on my actions. I am not enough, or I am wrong or even, just plain stupid. Stupid is my favorite word for myself lately. Especially when I let myself get into this negative frame of mind.
I promised myself I would not let my thinking go down this path anymore. Putting myself down while recovering from cancer is not the best way to heal
So what do I do? How can I get back to my healing state of mind? I will share a few of my simple solutions with you. If you are having any of these symptoms, whether illness induced or just life induced, this exercise will help get you back to a gentler frame of mind.
First for a short while, go with it and look in all the dark, dusty corners of your mind for hidden secrets long buried, forgotten or denied. Where do these putdowns originate? Is it words your family or friends used to say to you? Or some trusted authority figure's conveyed judgements? Look deeply and search for negative agendas. Whatever you find take the time to decide if you want to keep that idea of who you are or trash it.
Second, focus on your breathing. We have a habit of taking short, shallow breathes. Oxygen is so important to cell health and mind clarity and overall optimism.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Watch your breathe go in and out. Feel your breath going into your lungs and then traveling all thru your body. Visualize colored breath or count the breaths. Anything to put your focus on breath for a minute or 2. Whatever you can do to refocus your mind to more positive thoughts.
This exercise helps me, and a few minutes spent this way will help you, too.
But I also have to remember that life WILL intrude on my ideas about how I should be during healing. I have to honor life and at the same time honor my body's health.
Sometimes it is very relaxing to listen to beautiful music.My favorite piece of music in the whole world, and always calms me, and takes me to another place, is Clair De Lune by Debussey.
I promised myself I would not let my thinking go down this path anymore. Putting myself down while recovering from cancer is not the best way to heal
So what do I do? How can I get back to my healing state of mind? I will share a few of my simple solutions with you. If you are having any of these symptoms, whether illness induced or just life induced, this exercise will help get you back to a gentler frame of mind.
First for a short while, go with it and look in all the dark, dusty corners of your mind for hidden secrets long buried, forgotten or denied. Where do these putdowns originate? Is it words your family or friends used to say to you? Or some trusted authority figure's conveyed judgements? Look deeply and search for negative agendas. Whatever you find take the time to decide if you want to keep that idea of who you are or trash it.
Second, focus on your breathing. We have a habit of taking short, shallow breathes. Oxygen is so important to cell health and mind clarity and overall optimism.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Watch your breathe go in and out. Feel your breath going into your lungs and then traveling all thru your body. Visualize colored breath or count the breaths. Anything to put your focus on breath for a minute or 2. Whatever you can do to refocus your mind to more positive thoughts.
This exercise helps me, and a few minutes spent this way will help you, too.
But I also have to remember that life WILL intrude on my ideas about how I should be during healing. I have to honor life and at the same time honor my body's health.
Sometimes it is very relaxing to listen to beautiful music.My favorite piece of music in the whole world, and always calms me, and takes me to another place, is Clair De Lune by Debussey.
I AM WHAT I AM By Roz Savage
I AM WHAT I AM By Roz Savage
http://RozSavage.blogspot.com
As I was rowing across the Atlantic I had plenty of time to think about life, its purpose and meaning, and to figure out what could be learned from my ocean experience that would be useful to me in the future. I jotted down these insights in the back of my logbook. On my return home, the Sunday Times (the top-circulating Sunday broadsheet in the UK) asked me to produce a list of life-learned philosophies to share with their readers. The article appeared on 23 April 2006.
People cut out the article and put it on their refrigerator or in their wallet or on their pinboard. They told me how my words had helped them through tough times or gave them the courage to try something new. They wrote to tell me how I had inspired them. Here is what I wrote.
I Am What I Am
o Don't waste mental energy asking yourself if you CAN do something. Just do it. You'll surprise yourself. I did.
o Be clear about your objectives. Ignore others, stay true to yourself and measure success only against your own criteria. I was last to finish the race - big deal. I went out there to learn about myself, and I did.
o The only constant in life is change. So don't get depressed by the bad times, and don't get over-excited by good ones. Accept that things are exactly as they are, and even bad times have something to teach us.
o Life can be magical, but magic only gets you so far. Then you need discipline, determination and dedication to see it through.
o Hope can hurt. The danger is that you hope for too much and set yourself up for disappointment. Be optimistic but realistic. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you expect it to be.
o Be mindful of the link between present action and desired future outcome. Ask yourself: if I repeat today's actions 365 times, will I be where I want to be in a year?
o Decision-making: act in faith, not fear, and don't worry about making a 'wrong' decision - the way you implement it is more important than the decision itself.
o Be your own best friend. The more you rely on other people, the less control you have over your destiny.
o Be proud of your own obituary: a few years ago I wrote two versions of my obituary, the one I wanted and the one I was heading for. They were very different. I realized I needed to make some big changes if I was going to look back and be proud of my life. I am making those changes, and now I have a life worth living.
http://RozSavage.blogspot.com
As I was rowing across the Atlantic I had plenty of time to think about life, its purpose and meaning, and to figure out what could be learned from my ocean experience that would be useful to me in the future. I jotted down these insights in the back of my logbook. On my return home, the Sunday Times (the top-circulating Sunday broadsheet in the UK) asked me to produce a list of life-learned philosophies to share with their readers. The article appeared on 23 April 2006.
People cut out the article and put it on their refrigerator or in their wallet or on their pinboard. They told me how my words had helped them through tough times or gave them the courage to try something new. They wrote to tell me how I had inspired them. Here is what I wrote.
I Am What I Am
o Don't waste mental energy asking yourself if you CAN do something. Just do it. You'll surprise yourself. I did.
o Be clear about your objectives. Ignore others, stay true to yourself and measure success only against your own criteria. I was last to finish the race - big deal. I went out there to learn about myself, and I did.
o The only constant in life is change. So don't get depressed by the bad times, and don't get over-excited by good ones. Accept that things are exactly as they are, and even bad times have something to teach us.
o Life can be magical, but magic only gets you so far. Then you need discipline, determination and dedication to see it through.
o Hope can hurt. The danger is that you hope for too much and set yourself up for disappointment. Be optimistic but realistic. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you expect it to be.
o Be mindful of the link between present action and desired future outcome. Ask yourself: if I repeat today's actions 365 times, will I be where I want to be in a year?
o Decision-making: act in faith, not fear, and don't worry about making a 'wrong' decision - the way you implement it is more important than the decision itself.
o Be your own best friend. The more you rely on other people, the less control you have over your destiny.
o Be proud of your own obituary: a few years ago I wrote two versions of my obituary, the one I wanted and the one I was heading for. They were very different. I realized I needed to make some big changes if I was going to look back and be proud of my life. I am making those changes, and now I have a life worth living.
MIRROR IMAGE
At times through the years I have felt it was in my best interest to become more real with myself, and find out why I was so unhappy in life and love.Find out who I really was.And who I really wasn't. I just knew my life was really chaotic and miserable.
I read books, books, and more books. I attended classes in healthy minds. And wondered why nothing changed in my life.
Then someone said to me, “You have to live the changes, not just read about them.”
Live the changes. OK, but what did that mean?
So off I went to the thrapists couch.The therapist said, 'What do you want to work on?'
'Well, my unhappiness.”
'Where do you think that unhappiness comes from?”
'Well, I guess my mother didn't love me.”
“So we'll work on your feelings for and about your mother.
'Oh. Sure. OK.
But I didn't do any of the therapists suggestions.So I didn't begin to live the changes.
A few weeks later, the therapist said, “Now that you haven't done any of the Mother exercises I told you to do, we'll work on your feelings about yourself.”
Oh. OK. Sure.
She said to go home and look in the mirror, 'straight into your own eyes, and say, 'I love you, I love you Rae Burton. And repeat this 10 times.”
Oh. Sure Ok. Sure.
Hmmmm
I went home and looked in the mirror, and into my own eyes. And...........silence. And then I laughed. More like an embarrassed giggle.
I couldn't say to myself, 'I love you.'I couldn't even look in my own eyes in that mirror image for more than a quick instant.
Of course, I never went back to the therapist. And of course, I stayed unhappy and chaotic. And I read more books and went to more classes, and stayed the same.
Until I met David, and decided I had a good reason to begin the changes I needed to make. To begin to be happy and to be able to say, without looking away or laughing, to my mirror image and to myself, I love you. I love you Rae Burton.
Then I could say, with an open heart, I love you, David Arellano.
And I love you Ollie Rae Burton
I read books, books, and more books. I attended classes in healthy minds. And wondered why nothing changed in my life.
Then someone said to me, “You have to live the changes, not just read about them.”
Live the changes. OK, but what did that mean?
So off I went to the thrapists couch.The therapist said, 'What do you want to work on?'
'Well, my unhappiness.”
'Where do you think that unhappiness comes from?”
'Well, I guess my mother didn't love me.”
“So we'll work on your feelings for and about your mother.
'Oh. Sure. OK.
But I didn't do any of the therapists suggestions.So I didn't begin to live the changes.
A few weeks later, the therapist said, “Now that you haven't done any of the Mother exercises I told you to do, we'll work on your feelings about yourself.”
Oh. OK. Sure.
She said to go home and look in the mirror, 'straight into your own eyes, and say, 'I love you, I love you Rae Burton. And repeat this 10 times.”
Oh. Sure Ok. Sure.
Hmmmm
I went home and looked in the mirror, and into my own eyes. And...........silence. And then I laughed. More like an embarrassed giggle.
I couldn't say to myself, 'I love you.'I couldn't even look in my own eyes in that mirror image for more than a quick instant.
Of course, I never went back to the therapist. And of course, I stayed unhappy and chaotic. And I read more books and went to more classes, and stayed the same.
Until I met David, and decided I had a good reason to begin the changes I needed to make. To begin to be happy and to be able to say, without looking away or laughing, to my mirror image and to myself, I love you. I love you Rae Burton.
Then I could say, with an open heart, I love you, David Arellano.
And I love you Ollie Rae Burton
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
NAMES
Did you ever think about what happens when you change your name?
Nothing, you say, except for the DMV and credit card name & address changes. Just a bunch of paper work. It happens to almost every woman, at some time or other. Getting married, or divorced. Or just deciding to change your name. Sounds simple... huhnn. It is simple to do, but repercussions may result.
The first time I changed my name I was too young to notice anything.My mother had remarried and so I began to use my stepfathers name, but at the same time I dropped my hated first name and from then on used my middle name. Legally I was still my birth name. Thru my marriage and divorce and those psych changes....... About 10 years after my divorce, I legally changed back to my birth name. But still used my middle name for everyday use. I noticed changes after this name change, but nothing to talk about. It seemed to be a very comforting change for me, and made me wonder about the psych health of making a woman change her birth name to her husbands name. What hidden repercussions accompany this change?
The most recent change was this past jan when I was admitted to the hosp directly from the drs office.
I ended up being admitted with my birth name. Nurses commented on my name.Everyone had something to say about it.
I got to thinking about it. I believe that my birth name is me. Its who I am and who I have been all my life. An accumulation of all those years and all those happenings. It suddenly dawned on me... wow, I have denied a part of me, and hated that part of me all these years. Quite an eye opener, and something to think about.
I was at a life changing crossroad in my life , so I thot, well, why not? Everything else is changing in my life.
I'll just go with it, and see what happens. So I am drawing all the disparate parts of me in together. And we are all learning how to live together, in love, consideration, and respect for each other. Altho I will say, this new-old part of me is a little mouthy at times. (But I love her anyway)
Oh yes, and my full birth name is...........
This is Ollie Rae Burton saying check out your 'real' name.
Nothing, you say, except for the DMV and credit card name & address changes. Just a bunch of paper work. It happens to almost every woman, at some time or other. Getting married, or divorced. Or just deciding to change your name. Sounds simple... huhnn. It is simple to do, but repercussions may result.
The first time I changed my name I was too young to notice anything.My mother had remarried and so I began to use my stepfathers name, but at the same time I dropped my hated first name and from then on used my middle name. Legally I was still my birth name. Thru my marriage and divorce and those psych changes....... About 10 years after my divorce, I legally changed back to my birth name. But still used my middle name for everyday use. I noticed changes after this name change, but nothing to talk about. It seemed to be a very comforting change for me, and made me wonder about the psych health of making a woman change her birth name to her husbands name. What hidden repercussions accompany this change?
The most recent change was this past jan when I was admitted to the hosp directly from the drs office.
I ended up being admitted with my birth name. Nurses commented on my name.Everyone had something to say about it.
I got to thinking about it. I believe that my birth name is me. Its who I am and who I have been all my life. An accumulation of all those years and all those happenings. It suddenly dawned on me... wow, I have denied a part of me, and hated that part of me all these years. Quite an eye opener, and something to think about.
I was at a life changing crossroad in my life , so I thot, well, why not? Everything else is changing in my life.
I'll just go with it, and see what happens. So I am drawing all the disparate parts of me in together. And we are all learning how to live together, in love, consideration, and respect for each other. Altho I will say, this new-old part of me is a little mouthy at times. (But I love her anyway)
Oh yes, and my full birth name is...........
This is Ollie Rae Burton saying check out your 'real' name.
MEMORIES
In the beginning there was only cancer. Then I started to survive. For 2 months, I wrapped myself, body and soul, in a cocoon of warmth, love, caring, from friends, family, and God.And a whole life of memories.This cocoon was my safe place, where all the world of doctors, nurses, the hospital, and surgeries and subsequent recovery, were not invited. This safe place, this cocoon, was filled full of memories. Memories of good times when my kids were young. Trips to the beach many times during the summer months. I'd pile my kids in the car, and take off for the beach. Sometimes we would stop and pick up the cousins and go to the lagoon, and swim and play on the whale the whole day. I always made enough sandwiches and drinks for the ride home, singing and arguing and then everyone, except the driver, falling asleep.
Memories of evenings in the park after a day of all of us swimming in the park pool. Cooking burgers and dogs on the park BBQ pits. Nothing ever tasted so good again.Memories of sitting in our back yard, on the grass, watching for falling stars.”Oh, look, theres a shooting star, look, there it falls.”
More recent good memories of life with David, moving to the mountains,and times filled with love, contentment and challenges. Living, and loving, with our 12 cats to keep us busy. And then saying good bye to each of them thru the years.
Some memories are not happy, or good.
Some memories are poignant. But I looked at them all, and decided which memories, like old photographs, or old clothes, to keep or which to discard. I threw the uneeded ones in the trash and I let them go.The painful, hurtful memories do not serve me well. I do not need them any more.
My cocoon of quiet time was good and healing for me, and then I was ready to go ahead with traditional cancer treatment. It was a quiet time with just me and God, God, to hold my hand and guide me thru the forest of memories, where nothing could harm me.And when God and I came out on the other side of the forest, I was forever changed.
You need a safe place in your mind, that you can retreat to in times of stress and tribulation.Find a quiet place, go into the bathroom and lock the door. Sit on the closed toilet lid and close your eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly to the count of ten. Do this several times, and then picture a perfect scene in your mind, a place you have been, or a place you want to be. Be there. Sitting on the sand or fishing in a quiet lake,or looking out over a vast beautiful horizen. Alone. You are alone. And quiet. And .....safe. Safe and healthy and perfect. God is there but he is quiet . And waiting. And Loving.
We need this escape, this cocoon, this safe place.This is a place of rejuvenation and healing.You can go there anytime. Take a few minutes, to re-group and rejoice.
And live again.
Memories of evenings in the park after a day of all of us swimming in the park pool. Cooking burgers and dogs on the park BBQ pits. Nothing ever tasted so good again.Memories of sitting in our back yard, on the grass, watching for falling stars.”Oh, look, theres a shooting star, look, there it falls.”
More recent good memories of life with David, moving to the mountains,and times filled with love, contentment and challenges. Living, and loving, with our 12 cats to keep us busy. And then saying good bye to each of them thru the years.
Some memories are not happy, or good.
Some memories are poignant. But I looked at them all, and decided which memories, like old photographs, or old clothes, to keep or which to discard. I threw the uneeded ones in the trash and I let them go.The painful, hurtful memories do not serve me well. I do not need them any more.
My cocoon of quiet time was good and healing for me, and then I was ready to go ahead with traditional cancer treatment. It was a quiet time with just me and God, God, to hold my hand and guide me thru the forest of memories, where nothing could harm me.And when God and I came out on the other side of the forest, I was forever changed.
You need a safe place in your mind, that you can retreat to in times of stress and tribulation.Find a quiet place, go into the bathroom and lock the door. Sit on the closed toilet lid and close your eyes, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly to the count of ten. Do this several times, and then picture a perfect scene in your mind, a place you have been, or a place you want to be. Be there. Sitting on the sand or fishing in a quiet lake,or looking out over a vast beautiful horizen. Alone. You are alone. And quiet. And .....safe. Safe and healthy and perfect. God is there but he is quiet . And waiting. And Loving.
We need this escape, this cocoon, this safe place.This is a place of rejuvenation and healing.You can go there anytime. Take a few minutes, to re-group and rejoice.
And live again.
DIRECTIONS
Have you ever gone down the wrong street or in the wrong direction, and didn't realize it at first. You just kept driving along, thinking of nothing.Dreamin' along. In the Los Angeles teeming, stretched out, unfamiliar freeway driving, it is easy to get turned around. Not so much ....lost, as just maybe going in the wrong direction.
Then something in your subconcious says, “Pay attention. Somethings wrong, something doesnt feel right. You begin to look around, looking for familiar landmarks, familiar territory. Something that will give you a hint that you know where you are, that you are on the right track, the right freeway.
Because on a freeway, you can't suddenly make a U turn, or go around the block and head in the opposite direction. You may be stuck.
You take a deep breath, look for familiar freeway signs, anything. Anything that will tell you where you are and where to go next. Nothing. How did this happen, how did I get so lost, and what do I do now.What do I DO?
In Los Angeles as in almost any large, unfamiliar city, you don't want to get off the freeway, even for a block to get the next on ramp going in the opposite direction, if you don't know exactly where you are. That decision could be deadly.
This is what I faced when I decided I was too sick to continue down the road I was on. Somewhere I had made the wrong decision, the misdirected turn.I felt I had been doing what was best for everyone concerned, and had been doing what God wanted me to do.So why the quandry? If God was calling me home, well OK, so be it. But I really didn't feel that was it, that that was the answer.What do I do, God, where do I go? I kept hearing, “Trust Me.” OK, God, its out of my hands. I am in your hands now. I turned it over and I let it go.
And ended up almost immediately in the hospital, in the capable hands of doctors and nurses, saving my life.I felt I was exactly where I needed to be at that time in my life. Why, I really didn't know at the time.Why wasn't important. But I knew I was safe in Gods Loving embrace. I knew I was healing.And I knew I would live. I would live another day, another month, another year, another lifetime.
I have a new direction and goals now.
So with God as my navigator directing my path, I continue to heal and grow in His Love.
Be aware of your direction, and think about your goals.
Then something in your subconcious says, “Pay attention. Somethings wrong, something doesnt feel right. You begin to look around, looking for familiar landmarks, familiar territory. Something that will give you a hint that you know where you are, that you are on the right track, the right freeway.
Because on a freeway, you can't suddenly make a U turn, or go around the block and head in the opposite direction. You may be stuck.
You take a deep breath, look for familiar freeway signs, anything. Anything that will tell you where you are and where to go next. Nothing. How did this happen, how did I get so lost, and what do I do now.What do I DO?
In Los Angeles as in almost any large, unfamiliar city, you don't want to get off the freeway, even for a block to get the next on ramp going in the opposite direction, if you don't know exactly where you are. That decision could be deadly.
This is what I faced when I decided I was too sick to continue down the road I was on. Somewhere I had made the wrong decision, the misdirected turn.I felt I had been doing what was best for everyone concerned, and had been doing what God wanted me to do.So why the quandry? If God was calling me home, well OK, so be it. But I really didn't feel that was it, that that was the answer.What do I do, God, where do I go? I kept hearing, “Trust Me.” OK, God, its out of my hands. I am in your hands now. I turned it over and I let it go.
And ended up almost immediately in the hospital, in the capable hands of doctors and nurses, saving my life.I felt I was exactly where I needed to be at that time in my life. Why, I really didn't know at the time.Why wasn't important. But I knew I was safe in Gods Loving embrace. I knew I was healing.And I knew I would live. I would live another day, another month, another year, another lifetime.
I have a new direction and goals now.
So with God as my navigator directing my path, I continue to heal and grow in His Love.
Be aware of your direction, and think about your goals.
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