THE PUZZLE

Cancer-phobe. A noun, meaning an excessive fear of contacting a malignancy.
My cancer phobia was not a fear for my health, but rather a fear of talking to a person with cancer. Not an irrational fear that I would get their cancer, but a very real fear of saying the wrong thing, or saying the right thing badly, and inflicting uneeded emotional pain. So I said and did nothing.
Many years ago, one of my best friends developed cancer and I said and did nothing.She recovered beautifully and is still cancer free.
But my feelings of overwhelming guilt for my sins of omission remain. My friend has been very supportive and always seems to know the right things to say to me.

After I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and after the first few months of adjusting to this new life, I started noticing peoples reaction –to me. And I noticed averted glances, or a big smile thrown my way, and then a scurrying off to take care of some forgotten chore. Just as I used to do.

But I have changed and my life, my reactions have changed. I have undergone an epiphany of sorts. I feel as tho, besides removing my breast, my doctors removed 'me.'
They cut 'me' up into little pieces and like a jigsaw puzzle, they put 'me' back together differently. But they had to, for the pieces wouldn't fit together in the old way. The Drs. had to help me find the new 'me.' So the drs and nurses began to reassemble the puzzle that was'me.' And my family and friends had to help me find and define the new 'me.'
We are all still working on the 'me' puzzle, but I am getting closer to being 'finished' and 'put together' right. Now I search out cancer survivors, In stores, on survivor forums, anyplace, anywhere, and approach them with love and welcoming to the sisterhood.

So my recommendation to everyone is this: If you see anyone, anywhere that is 'different' than you, different in ANY way, and you really want to turn the other way, DONT!!
Don't turn and try and forget them. Don't run away. Go to them with love and acceptance and more love. Because love fills in all the gaps and nooks and crannies of missed places and the missing pieces in all of us.

Thank you to my friends and family.
And Thank you David