I've noticed lately that I am more often anxious, short tempered, easily agitated, dejected and have trouble staying positive and upbeat. I am quick to put myself down, rag on my actions. I am not enough, or I am wrong or even, just plain stupid. Stupid is my favorite word for myself lately. Especially when I let myself get into this negative frame of mind.
I promised myself I would not let my thinking go down this path anymore. Putting myself down while recovering from cancer is not the best way to heal
So what do I do? How can I get back to my healing state of mind? I will share a few of my simple solutions with you. If you are having any of these symptoms, whether illness induced or just life induced, this exercise will help get you back to a gentler frame of mind.
First for a short while, go with it and look in all the dark, dusty corners of your mind for hidden secrets long buried, forgotten or denied. Where do these putdowns originate? Is it words your family or friends used to say to you? Or some trusted authority figure's conveyed judgements? Look deeply and search for negative agendas. Whatever you find take the time to decide if you want to keep that idea of who you are or trash it.
Second, focus on your breathing. We have a habit of taking short, shallow breathes. Oxygen is so important to cell health and mind clarity and overall optimism.
Breathe slowly and deeply. Watch your breathe go in and out. Feel your breath going into your lungs and then traveling all thru your body. Visualize colored breath or count the breaths. Anything to put your focus on breath for a minute or 2. Whatever you can do to refocus your mind to more positive thoughts.
This exercise helps me, and a few minutes spent this way will help you, too.
But I also have to remember that life WILL intrude on my ideas about how I should be during healing. I have to honor life and at the same time honor my body's health.
Sometimes it is very relaxing to listen to beautiful music.My favorite piece of music in the whole world, and always calms me, and takes me to another place, is Clair De Lune by Debussey.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I AM WHAT I AM By Roz Savage
I AM WHAT I AM By Roz Savage
http://RozSavage.blogspot.com
As I was rowing across the Atlantic I had plenty of time to think about life, its purpose and meaning, and to figure out what could be learned from my ocean experience that would be useful to me in the future. I jotted down these insights in the back of my logbook. On my return home, the Sunday Times (the top-circulating Sunday broadsheet in the UK) asked me to produce a list of life-learned philosophies to share with their readers. The article appeared on 23 April 2006.
People cut out the article and put it on their refrigerator or in their wallet or on their pinboard. They told me how my words had helped them through tough times or gave them the courage to try something new. They wrote to tell me how I had inspired them. Here is what I wrote.
I Am What I Am
o Don't waste mental energy asking yourself if you CAN do something. Just do it. You'll surprise yourself. I did.
o Be clear about your objectives. Ignore others, stay true to yourself and measure success only against your own criteria. I was last to finish the race - big deal. I went out there to learn about myself, and I did.
o The only constant in life is change. So don't get depressed by the bad times, and don't get over-excited by good ones. Accept that things are exactly as they are, and even bad times have something to teach us.
o Life can be magical, but magic only gets you so far. Then you need discipline, determination and dedication to see it through.
o Hope can hurt. The danger is that you hope for too much and set yourself up for disappointment. Be optimistic but realistic. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you expect it to be.
o Be mindful of the link between present action and desired future outcome. Ask yourself: if I repeat today's actions 365 times, will I be where I want to be in a year?
o Decision-making: act in faith, not fear, and don't worry about making a 'wrong' decision - the way you implement it is more important than the decision itself.
o Be your own best friend. The more you rely on other people, the less control you have over your destiny.
o Be proud of your own obituary: a few years ago I wrote two versions of my obituary, the one I wanted and the one I was heading for. They were very different. I realized I needed to make some big changes if I was going to look back and be proud of my life. I am making those changes, and now I have a life worth living.
http://RozSavage.blogspot.com
As I was rowing across the Atlantic I had plenty of time to think about life, its purpose and meaning, and to figure out what could be learned from my ocean experience that would be useful to me in the future. I jotted down these insights in the back of my logbook. On my return home, the Sunday Times (the top-circulating Sunday broadsheet in the UK) asked me to produce a list of life-learned philosophies to share with their readers. The article appeared on 23 April 2006.
People cut out the article and put it on their refrigerator or in their wallet or on their pinboard. They told me how my words had helped them through tough times or gave them the courage to try something new. They wrote to tell me how I had inspired them. Here is what I wrote.
I Am What I Am
o Don't waste mental energy asking yourself if you CAN do something. Just do it. You'll surprise yourself. I did.
o Be clear about your objectives. Ignore others, stay true to yourself and measure success only against your own criteria. I was last to finish the race - big deal. I went out there to learn about myself, and I did.
o The only constant in life is change. So don't get depressed by the bad times, and don't get over-excited by good ones. Accept that things are exactly as they are, and even bad times have something to teach us.
o Life can be magical, but magic only gets you so far. Then you need discipline, determination and dedication to see it through.
o Hope can hurt. The danger is that you hope for too much and set yourself up for disappointment. Be optimistic but realistic. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you expect it to be.
o Be mindful of the link between present action and desired future outcome. Ask yourself: if I repeat today's actions 365 times, will I be where I want to be in a year?
o Decision-making: act in faith, not fear, and don't worry about making a 'wrong' decision - the way you implement it is more important than the decision itself.
o Be your own best friend. The more you rely on other people, the less control you have over your destiny.
o Be proud of your own obituary: a few years ago I wrote two versions of my obituary, the one I wanted and the one I was heading for. They were very different. I realized I needed to make some big changes if I was going to look back and be proud of my life. I am making those changes, and now I have a life worth living.
MIRROR IMAGE
At times through the years I have felt it was in my best interest to become more real with myself, and find out why I was so unhappy in life and love.Find out who I really was.And who I really wasn't. I just knew my life was really chaotic and miserable.
I read books, books, and more books. I attended classes in healthy minds. And wondered why nothing changed in my life.
Then someone said to me, “You have to live the changes, not just read about them.”
Live the changes. OK, but what did that mean?
So off I went to the thrapists couch.The therapist said, 'What do you want to work on?'
'Well, my unhappiness.”
'Where do you think that unhappiness comes from?”
'Well, I guess my mother didn't love me.”
“So we'll work on your feelings for and about your mother.
'Oh. Sure. OK.
But I didn't do any of the therapists suggestions.So I didn't begin to live the changes.
A few weeks later, the therapist said, “Now that you haven't done any of the Mother exercises I told you to do, we'll work on your feelings about yourself.”
Oh. OK. Sure.
She said to go home and look in the mirror, 'straight into your own eyes, and say, 'I love you, I love you Rae Burton. And repeat this 10 times.”
Oh. Sure Ok. Sure.
Hmmmm
I went home and looked in the mirror, and into my own eyes. And...........silence. And then I laughed. More like an embarrassed giggle.
I couldn't say to myself, 'I love you.'I couldn't even look in my own eyes in that mirror image for more than a quick instant.
Of course, I never went back to the therapist. And of course, I stayed unhappy and chaotic. And I read more books and went to more classes, and stayed the same.
Until I met David, and decided I had a good reason to begin the changes I needed to make. To begin to be happy and to be able to say, without looking away or laughing, to my mirror image and to myself, I love you. I love you Rae Burton.
Then I could say, with an open heart, I love you, David Arellano.
And I love you Ollie Rae Burton
I read books, books, and more books. I attended classes in healthy minds. And wondered why nothing changed in my life.
Then someone said to me, “You have to live the changes, not just read about them.”
Live the changes. OK, but what did that mean?
So off I went to the thrapists couch.The therapist said, 'What do you want to work on?'
'Well, my unhappiness.”
'Where do you think that unhappiness comes from?”
'Well, I guess my mother didn't love me.”
“So we'll work on your feelings for and about your mother.
'Oh. Sure. OK.
But I didn't do any of the therapists suggestions.So I didn't begin to live the changes.
A few weeks later, the therapist said, “Now that you haven't done any of the Mother exercises I told you to do, we'll work on your feelings about yourself.”
Oh. OK. Sure.
She said to go home and look in the mirror, 'straight into your own eyes, and say, 'I love you, I love you Rae Burton. And repeat this 10 times.”
Oh. Sure Ok. Sure.
Hmmmm
I went home and looked in the mirror, and into my own eyes. And...........silence. And then I laughed. More like an embarrassed giggle.
I couldn't say to myself, 'I love you.'I couldn't even look in my own eyes in that mirror image for more than a quick instant.
Of course, I never went back to the therapist. And of course, I stayed unhappy and chaotic. And I read more books and went to more classes, and stayed the same.
Until I met David, and decided I had a good reason to begin the changes I needed to make. To begin to be happy and to be able to say, without looking away or laughing, to my mirror image and to myself, I love you. I love you Rae Burton.
Then I could say, with an open heart, I love you, David Arellano.
And I love you Ollie Rae Burton
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